He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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