Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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