i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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