Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
