I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
