He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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