mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
