Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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