I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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