i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
