ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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