I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I pour the whiskey from now on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
