I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
