i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We got so high we made milksteak
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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