im drinking this country out of the recession.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
