I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
