Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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