dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
