you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
