its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
