so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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