Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
