Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
