dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
