It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize