Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize