weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
