My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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