How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
