Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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