I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
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