What a fucking waste of an outfit
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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