If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
