He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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