I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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