I think im going to throw up on grandma
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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