doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
