Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i was born a porn star she said
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
