I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
