How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
