she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
