haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
