This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
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