i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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