The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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