Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
