her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
