It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
