Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
