why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
