I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
