Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
