Sponge bath it is.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
