also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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