is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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