oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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