Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
