he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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