I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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