alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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