Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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