I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize