He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
