When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You are the jesus of drinking
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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