there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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