I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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