i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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