Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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