I think my fart just growled at me.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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